Chapter 5 - My Peace I give to You - 2nd Questions for Application

The relatives and friends of Jesus could not do anything for him as he died. When have you had the experience of being with, yet unable to help, someone who was in pain or difficulty? Is such presence useless?


  • PattyPosted on 3/27/20

    I was with my Mom during her last days. Her body was filled with painful cancer and there was not much I could do for her. I held her hand, I prayed, I stayed. I’m sure she knew I was there and certainly hope that my presence helped her.

  • Kathy K.Posted on 3/26/20

    I have been at the bedside of several people, both relatives and friends. It was always a beautiful experience. None of them were not conscious but I believe they knew I was there and that it was a comfort. I prayed and sang hymns and spoke words of comfort. It was such a tremendously holy experience. It was as if heaven itself came into the room to bring my loved one home. It has helped me to have a new perspective on death!

  • bobmPosted on 3/25/20

    yes, Many of us have been present with someone or during very difficult times.
    When that presence is an action of true love...not just out of guilt or a feeling of responsibility, it is Never in vain or useless. There are so many dimensions that it is valuable, no matter what the near term outcome.

  • MJPosted on 3/25/20

    When I was barely 19 yrs old and in my 2nd year of nursing school, a young 21 year old girl was admitted with acute leukemia. She was my patient and we bonded immediately as fast friends. She was gravely ill but I had no idea to what degree. A day after her admission she cardiac arrested. I was handed a clip board and the charge nurse pushed me into the room and shouted for me to track the timeline of resuscitation events. I stood at the foot of the bed squeezing the pen and clip board unable to move. I don’t remember breathing. After 45 minutes the doctor “ called it” and pronounced her dead. I didn’t write one word on the board...I was totally numb to the horror that I just had witnessed. Yet it couldn’t have been as horrible as What Jesus’ relatives saw at his crucifixion. Did I do any good that day? Not in any measurable medical way. I was given one job and I failed miserably. But I stayed at the foot of her bed almost as her guardian angel and I know God was with me throughout. So my presence may or may not have helped anyone else but I know I needed to be there..... just as Jesus’ friend and relatives did.

  • Kathleen ungaroPosted on 3/25/20

    Yes at my husband's passing, when he couldn't speak,see, or move. It gave him comfort I know that I was with him.

  • Deacon MichaelPosted on 3/25/20

    My brother, who is an Episcopal priest, related to me his experience as a hospital chaplain that was a part of his training. He had weekend duty in the Emergency and Psychiatric units at a major inner city hospital. He saw many hard circumstances, much pain and suffering during his short tenure there. He really discovered that it was not him personally” that people were looking for when they were in such moments, but his presence, and for folks with belief, the presence and connection to what they believed. It was what he called a “ministry of presence” the major component of which was just being there and listening and offering what folks tell you they need, not what we might think they need.
    Presence in these circumstances helped with the various pain and suffering in a way beyond anything we might be able to say or do at the moment. I have found this to be true in the limited experience I have had with this as well. For example, this also applies very much when we as clergy do wake services. The point very much is to be there. Presence speaks. Offering the words of the Church in the prayers for these wake and funerals is another type of presence that seems to be a great comfort to those who believe as well as for those whose faith is maybe not so strong as well. So such presence is never useless.
    Also, from a practical matter, the relatives and friends of Jesus who were present were eyewitnesses to the events, which were then a source of faith for all those who Jesus says in response to Thomas later on that had “not seen yet believe” and me.

  • John & DeenaPosted on 3/25/20

    We have both experienced very dear loved ones passing -- for me, my parents and for Deena, her husband. We had to accept being very limited in our capacities to help but we very much agree that our presence had tremendous value ... for the people we loved, those around us and ourselves.

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